The thought that her child was significantly behind in reading kept her awake at night. Hannah thought: my child can’t read at 8. She wondered if it was time to find help. Her daughter no longer wanted to go to school. When Hannah told her friends and relatives about Ava’s reading difficulties, they all seemed unconcerned, saying things like: “Oh, she’ll catch on. My neighbor’s kid caught on.” Or “You just need to give her good books!”
Hannah had waited and waited for years for Ava to “catch on” to reading. Pretty soon, she found herself saying, “My child can’t read at 8.” Through this unending process of waiting, Ava’s confidence as a learner began to erode. Soon, Ava was convinced she was stupid.
“My child can’t read at 8,” Hannah’s mind repeated. Furthermore, Hanna was frustrated that others kept recommending “good books.” Of course I give Ava good books—what mother doesn’t?? she thought. To show people the severity of the problem, one morning Hannah recorded her daughter before school.
On the recording, Ava began to sob. “I can’t go to school mom,” she said. “I can’t. Do you know how it feels? It hurts so bad. I can’t read.” Hannah was taken aback by her daughter’s bluntness. Ava dug her face in her pillow and continued to cry. At the end of the recording, Hannah said, “This is every single morning. My daughter is afraid to go to school because she can’t read.”
Every parent of a struggling reader knows this scene. At some point, without a reading intervention, kids that can’t read begin to define themselves as failures. They begin to hate school.
My child can’t read at 8
Every parent of a child that has fallen years below grade level can empathize with Hannah. Parents that think: my child can’t read at 8, have commonalities. They’ve all seen their kid cry due to reading difficulties. They’ve all painfully watched as their child says, “I can’t read. I must be stupid.” Also, they’ve all heard the unhelpful advice to “wait, wait, wait.”
Parents of struggling readers often hear the stories of kids that “catch on” to reading. Parents of kids that read with ease are vocal. As a reading specialist, I understand this. Often, these parents say, “Oh all kids need to read is a book they enjoy. That’s how my kids learned to read.”
Reading Elephant offers 110+ step-by-step printable phonics books that can help a child learn to read.
The my child can’t read at 8 club
In contrast, the moms of true struggling readers stay silent. Often for years. They don’t shares stories about how their child never “caught on.” They don’t describe the feeling of lying awake at night knowing their child will sob in the morning because he’s afraid to go to school. They also don’t share that, “hey, it’s actually hurtful for struggling readers to wait, wait, wait, because all that waiting puts kids even further behind.
Hannah sought help when her daughter was in grade 3. At that point, Ava’s reading difficulties were so severe that Ava was three years below grade level. In retrospect, Hannah wished she would’ve gotten help earlier. Once she finally got help, Hannah realized she was part of a club…there were many other struggling readers in her community. Many of these parents could say, “my child can’t read at 8.” All of these kids felt ostracized. All were years behind. The interventions at school weren’t working for anyone.
Parents that google things like, “my child can’t read at 8,” are part of a club. No parent wants to be in this club.
You know you are part of the parents of struggling readers club if you:
-have a strong desire to help other parents of struggling readers
-pass out free helpful information to other members of this community
-sought multiple reading interventions and nothing has worked
-have been told that something is wrong with you or your child
-multiple people say that your child’s reading difficulties are fleeting, a result of bad parenting or because you don’t have enough good books in your house
-wondered what in the world you should do when your child came home from school sobbing—on a daily basis
-been shocked by your child’s perspicuity when he said things like, “I guess I’m not going to college then. If I can’t read, I can’t go to college.”
Kids in European countries can read late, because the orthography in their language is much simpler. Not so for English-speaking kids.
The French neuroscientist Stanislaus Dehaene highlighted in his book Reading in the Brain that English is the most difficult European language to learn to read. Among European languages, English orthography is the most opaque, meaning our spelling patterns are the most unpredictable. In contrast, Swedish is a very transparent language. Their spelling patterns are regular. Most European languages have predictable spelling patterns. In English, there are tons of exceptions to rules. This is because English is borrowed from many languages. As a result, it takes English-speaking kids many years to learn to read.
If you are a parent of a struggling reader, someone has probably told you, “Oh don’t worry, Swedish kids don’t learn to read until age 7.” You know intuitively that something is off here. Now you can response with, “Yes, that’s because their language is transparent. It takes Swedish kids a matter of months to learn to read. In contrast, it takes English-speaking kids FOUR years to learn to read.” If you are a parent of a struggling reader, you might have to add a few years to this timeline. Furthermore, ALL European languages have more predictable spelling patterns than English.
Struggling readers will not teach themselves to read
The idea that a bad reader just needs a good book is almost ubiquitous. Yet, we know from reading research, that struggling readers require intensive systematic phonics instruction. A “good book” will not solve reading failure. The myth that a good book can essentially teach a struggling reader comes from the Whole Language movement. Whole language promises that good literature will get kids reading. The whole language method was implemented in California in 1987 and led to disastrous reading scores. The functional illiteracy rate soared to 60%. Reading scores got so bad, California dropped to the lowest performing state in the continental United States. Record numbers of parents found themselves in the “my child can’t read at 8” situation. Yet, the idea that good literature teaches kids to read still prevails.
If you find yourself thinking, “my child can’t read at 8,” what are the first steps?
Talk to other parents of struggling readers. Find other parents of struggling readers who think: my child can’t read at 8? Other parents of struggling readers can share their story. I’m talking about true struggling readers. Trust me, you will KNOW when you find this community. Parents of struggling readers can tell you about people in the your community that have helped them. They might recommend the best reading tutor, the best decodable texts, and tactics that helped their own child. Also, if you think: my child can’t read at 8, find a reading interventionist.
Find a reading interventionist that can tell you exactly what your child knows and doesn’t know
An expert reading interventionist will share precise information. My child can’t read at 8, thought Hannah, but she was relieved when she found someone that could help. With a qualified reading interventionist, you can learn exactly what sound units your child can’t read. You can learn why your child seems almost blind to sight words. Also, you can discover decodable texts your child CAN read. In addition, a reading expert can recommend reading intervention programs for your child. Contrary to what many intervention programs say, there are many programs that can help struggling readers and dyslexic students. Funnily enough, each one of these programs falsely claims none of the other programs work! It all can be very confusing territory for parents.
If you are interested in what makes a reading intervention program work, learn more about systematic phonics instruction that teaches phonemic awareness and uses decodable texts.
Discover printable phonics books in our my child can’t read at 8 library.
my child is 8 years old and is in second grade she has been struggling with reading since the first years she is behind her level, it’s like she reads some but goes forward slow compared with the other kids in her class, her first language is Spanish we do speak Spanish with me, i don’t speak English to her some people say I should start talking her in English that way she starts to catch up since shes behind reading she is no doing well at writing , misses words in most sentences she writes
Hi Yir, I would get her a phonics assessment. That way, you know what phonics sounds she’s mastered and what phonics sounds she needs to learn. Make sure she receives explicit, systematic phonics instruction. She should learn the phonics sounds one at a time and constantly review old phonics sounds. Also, it sounds like she’s struggling with fluency. The only way to improve fluency is to get the child to read a lot of leveled books. Make sure she reads every day. Make sure the books are at her level too. She should be reading 92-98% of the words correctly.
I do Reading Buddies in our neighboring school and am currently working with one first grader and three second graders in 1/2 hour increments. I have two second graders that tell me they don’t want to read, it isn’t important. Another second grader, when I ask her to read, started to cry and I ask her why she was crying. She said she didn’t want to read in front of the class because they make fun of her. I told her that wasn’t what I was there to do but help her to be more confident. My first grader is the best of the four. One girl missed a whole school year and was held back and most of the families are not stable. But the teachers seem to blow it off also and tell me they are never going to be able to read. I am just so frustrated and feel like they are not learning anything. Any comments?
Hi Judy, I’m glad to hear that you’re helping your community by teaching reading. I’m sorry that those kids aren’t learning to read. Every child can learn to read. Those kids need access to explicit, systematic phonics instruction. They might also benefit from decodable books, which will help them practice sound-by-sound decoding skills. In phonics instruction kids practice phonemic awareness, new sound introduction, sound cards (these are flashcards with phonics sounds they’ve learned), sound-by-sound decoding with decontextualized word lists, and sound-by-sound spelling. I hope those kids progress at a better rate. It’s really sad how reading difficulties can affect a child’s self-esteem. I’m glad you’re helping them! Keep at it!
My 8 year old can’t read , it’s painful he likes reading and books and everything, but he just can’t mix consonant and vowels together to get a sound ! I can’t stand it anymore his an extrovert so speaking fluently English French and my mother tongue… please help me
Hi Deborah, It’s possible that your son has dyslexia. He needs systematic phonics instruction. This is a method of teaching reading that involves teaching one phonics sound at a time until mastery, doing phonemic awareness activities, providing interleaved mixed lists of words for the child to decode sound-by-sound, and sound-by-sound spelling. I recommend working through phonics books with him and hiring a trained professional in systematic phonics. Ideally, the school would have a trained professional on staff. However, unfortunately, as Emily Hanford’s podcasts and journalism reveals, many teachers are not trained in the science of reading. Thus, you’ll need to do some vetting. Make sure the school teacher or whoever you hire is qualified and experienced in helping struggling readers.
My daughter is 10 years old and still can not read at her reading level. She is in 4th grade and can barley read at a 1st grade level. Now she is not motivated in school to even pay attention. I am at a lost as to what to do. We can not afford a tutor at the moment I’m just so confused and sad for her. Please any advice would help.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I would recommend talking to the school about a dyslexia diagnosis. She needs a step-by-step systematic program that levels all materials. For now, Reading Elephant just has phonics books. Our books are systematic and step-by-step. However, kids also need a reading curriculum. There are many programs out there that are systematic, meaning they introduce one phonics sound at a time.
First, your child needs an assessment. She might be at the single syllable word level, the inflectional ending word level, or the polysyllabic word level–there are many levels within these, but this is a good start. Since you say she’s reading at the first grade level, she might need to work on long vowels (ai/_ay/ee/ea/oa/ow/igh) or inflectional ending (ing/ed) word types. From there, she might need to learn to read polysyllabic words; these are words with more than one syllable. For example, motion, probably, promotion, bubble are all polysyllabic words. There is a specific method for learning to read these word types outlined in several systematic phonics programs.
I would look into getting access to a dyslexia specialist in the school system. Make sure he/she is trained in systematic phonics programs.
I hope your daughter turns a corner soon. This is a failure of the school system, not of her. She will learn to read with a science-based reading program. Also, I recommend listening to Emily Hanford’s podcasts.
My son has been struggling with reading for years. He showed signs of speech delay but didn’t qualify to receive speech therapy. I should have known he was also going to struggle with speaking, reading, and writing later on. He is now is 2nd grade but is reading at a Kindergarten level. It doesn’t help that his dad and his family belittles him and makes him feel less than because school is difficult. I don’t know what to do. I worry about him so much and have watched his confidence dwindle over the years. He thinks he’s stupid. Please help.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. You are not alone. It can be heartbreaking to watch a child fall behind in reading. I highly recommend finding a trained reading specialist in your community, someone who is an expert in systematic phonics instruction. Is there any way you can reach out to your community to find a trained phonics specialist? When I did reading interventions, parents would often recommend my services to each other.
I have an 8 year old. He was not mine before this last year. His parents raised him using the television only. As a result, he has no grammatical awareness, basically no reading skills…He’s going into third grade and can just now read kindergarten level books with difficulty. He speaks English with the same proficiency as my other child speaks Spanish…and Spanish is her second language. I think there’s something going on, but I’m not sure whether it’s dyslexia or just television brain.
I’m sorry to hear about this. I think it’s likely that he has dyslexia. I would get a professional to diagnose him. That way, he can receive appropriate intervention services at school. Many schools offer a diagnosis for free.
As of now, you can read books aloud to him that are 2 grade levels above his decoding ability. This can help him gain exposure to the sophisticated grammar and vocabulary found in texts.
Hi, my son has just turned 8 and he struggles with reading too and because his reading is not good he can’t write very well and overall his whole performance at school is below average. He struggles with maths as well and his memory is not great either. He was always a shy child but because he requires extra help i think over the years this has affected his confidence even more. He has a very small group of friends and he gets emotional quite quickly and he hates trying anything new. I’ve tried many extra activities but he doesnt like sports because he hasnt got the confidence. My husband doesn’t really get it and I’m constantly stressing myself about it and the sleepless nights and helpless days is definitely my story but just don’t know which way to turn. I worry about how he will cope with the peer pressure that will be much worse in a few years. I’m just lost and confused. The teachers say he will have a light bulb moment and it will all come together but that seems like wishful thinking.
Hi Nazim, Your instincts are good: I would not expect him to “catch on.” Many students who fall behind never have a “light bulb” moment in which they can decode. Waiting is very risky, especially at this point, since he’s 8 years old. I would start a systematic phonics program with him. Even if he is reading phonics books, that is okay. He needs material that’s at his current reading level. Start introducing one phonics sound at a time. Have him practice that phonics sound in both reading and spelling activities. Go back to short vowels and make sure he can both read and spell them and then proceed through the 44 phonics sounds. Do phonemic awareness activities with him- this can help him learn to blend words together. If you feel lost at any point, I’d recommend hiring a reading specialist trained in systematic phonics instruction. I wish you the best of luck! With your parental love and diligence, he’ll be okay!
I have a ten year old boy who is in grade 4 . He has always struggled from a baby with kinder and at school ,when he started school the teacher said he was not ready for school he had all ready did 3 years of kinder ,3 year old kinder and 2 years of 4 year kinder. I told the teachers before he started ,they said they would help him. The first year my poor boy spent most of his first year of school in detention due to there was so many kids that needed special attention, it Felt that the first year was a waste of time he did learn his sounds and now every year after that has seen that it’s been a waste of time he did have early intervention in grade 1 and two. We have also reinforced after-school homework as well but yet at the age of 10 he is reading at a level Of Grade one .
I also have a six-year-old girl who is in grade one who I’m still trying to teach her how to read and she says she cannot read . As a baby she was the stronger baby compare to my first boy she started the world stronger and I thought she would be fine when starting school but now I’m finding that she may be struggling too.I’m doing that wait and see what happens with her my main focus is the 10 year-old which is always been my focus and I feel that she is left behind . Myself I’m not a strong reader but my husband is so we do the battle that my kids have got my brains and that’s why they can not read ..
Hi Angelina, I’m sorry to hear your kids are struggling with learning to read. It can be very disheartening to realize that very few educators actually know how to implement effective reading interventions. I always encourage early intervention, because many kids that fall behind simply will not “just catch on.” In regards to your daughter, do you know if she can read simple cvc words like map, ban, fin, tell…etc? If she can read uncommon short vowel words like these, there are books she can begin to read. In regards to your son, do you know what phonics sounds he’s missing? Maybe the school can help you identify the specific phonics sounds and sight words he’s weak in.